50 Things I Have Learned In These 50 Years

1.  It has taken me a long time to become the person I want to be.
2.  Learning to forgive takes practice.
3.  No matter how good a friend is, they are going to hurt you every once in a while, and you absolutely must forgive them for it.
4. No matter how hard you try to protect your children, they will eventually get hurt and you will hurt in the process.
5. Let your children fail, it prepares them for life and I promise they will be OK.
6. Everyone doesn’t have to like you and vice-versa.  Hey, there are people in your life who are just not the right fit, it is cool to back off from them or even let them go.  *You ain’t gotta be their friend on Facebook*
7. Tend to your friendships, especially the oldest friendships. Life sometimes gets in the way, but these folks know you and love you best…In spite of YOU!
8. Bad shit will happen. Part of living and getting older is experiencing troubles in life.
9. Promptness shows respect.
10. You cannot avoid offending people every so often, but when you don’t mean it, apologize…When you do, accept the consequences.
11. I can and should trust my gut.
12.  It was fine for Coach’s former players and students/my children’s friends to call me “Ms. Scheree/Ms. Lipscomb/Ms. Rawles” when they were younger, but now that we are ALL adults, I would much rather them switch over to “Scheree.”
13.  I miss my grandparents dearly. I will never probably stop and that is OK.
14. It is possible to love your children as much as life itself.
15.  Exercise is an excellent way to manage stress and to stay off things like Prozac, Xanax and alcohol.
16. Cough syrup doesn’t work.
17. It is 100 times easier to fall in love than to stay in love.
18. Broken hearts do mend and no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn’t stop for your grief.
19. It is a lot easier to react than it is to think.
20. You cannot make someone love you; all you can do is be someone who can be loved.
21. Either you control your attitude or it controls you.
22.  It’s not what you have in your life, but WHO you have in your life that counts.
23. My best friend and I can do anything or nothing and have the best time.
24.  Even though I might think I am right, it doesn’t mean I always am.
25. Earning my advanced degree 20 years after my undergraduate degree feels way better than earning it right after college…I would not have appreciated the struggle.
26. Money and stuff are not that important; feed your soul not your ego.
27. You can still have mind blowing, amazingly wonderful SEX! When I was in my 20’s I thought you stopped doing it when you were in your 40’s.
28. I also assumed that at this age, I would no longer want to get undressed in front of someone…that I might not want them to see me nekkid, I am happy to let you know, that is NOT the case.
29. I don’t regret things I did when I was younger, I do kind of regret things I didn’t do.
30. If you ask for my opinion, I will be honest.  If you don’t want to know, umm, don’t ask me.
31. But I will keep my opinion to myself if you don’t ask, because that is where it belongs.
32. Anyone who judges you by the kind of car you drive or the shoes that you wear isn’t someone worth impressing.  *Phuck ‘em*
33. Keep dental visits regular and always floss.
34. Mental illness is real and not disgraceful, it is the stigma that is disgraceful.
35. In crisis or conflict, ALWAYS think strategically.
36. Exercise really doesn’t take time. Exercise will give you time.
37. All the stuff you have in your closet that you don’t want, need, wear or will fit in again, donate it.  Keeping it just makes it harder to find those things you do want, need and will wear again.
38. When you mess up…fess up.
39.  I am definitely not the center of the universe. Although, I might have thought I was at one time, but that probably wasn’t accurate thinking.
40. I no longer take rejection personally, mainly because I am not the center of the universe (see number 39) and it’s usually more about the other person than me.
41. I am working on no longer stuffing my feet into shoes that hurt just because they are fantastically gorgeous.
42. Saying “No” or  “I’m busy” is categorically OK.
43. If my legs can still rock a miniskirt, then guess what…I am wearing one.  And MY legs definitely can.  Oh, and I can rock natural hair and be professional.
44. No matter how many weights I lift, there is no way I will have First Lady Michelle Obama’s arms…Knowing me, I will just injure my damn self, so I run.
45. I am going to keep having fun and being adventurous.
46. I used to love cooking I actually hate it now. It takes too much time and time is precious. *LMAO*
47. Just because someone doesn’t love you the way you think they should doesn’t mean that they don’t love you with all that they have.
48. Be vulnerable…Feel, be open, and be authentic.
49. Count your blessing every single day.
50. Fifty does not feel like 50!! It doesn’t feel like what you thought it would feel like in your 20’s or 30’s…It feels the way you feel now. Embrace it! Be confident! Love it!

Halle and the Double Standard!!

http://bigstory.ap.org/article/halle-berry-reaches-settlement-child-support

I am probably going to hear it from some of my girlfriends, but I have never been afraid of a little controversy or trouble. "Trouble is my middle name." Plus, this is my blog with my opinion.

I just have one question...If it were a man forced to pay the mother of his child for the type of lifestyle his child is accustomed to, would this be a problem, as well? I think not.

Halle was looking for a sperm donor, she got a man that wants to be a part of HIS child's life. We don't know what she said to him prior, during or after Nayla was born. However, to me it's clear she used him to have a baby and then wanted no parts of him and he wasn't having it.  She loved him before and then she didn't...her love does not diminish his love for his child.

We fuss and fuss and fuss about a man not being a part of his child's life and we fault a guy for "getting paid" like we encourage mothers to do. 

Yes, you may absolutely miss me with the slander of Gabriel. 

If You Run, You Are A Runner...If You Swim Are You A Swimmer?

Today, I swam!!! I did the breaststroke because that is what I am most comfortable with in the pool. I talked to the lifeguard~Devan~and requested that he not let me drown. He said he wouldn't and that he would watch me. I was grateful for his response. 😚😚

I swam up and down a total of eight times. I stopped when I got tired, because I am 5'9 and can stand in the pool. I caught my breath and kept moving. I talked to Devan and he gave great advice...Who are you racing? Take your time. You have a great stroke. You are rushing your breathing. Last lap, well you accomplished your goal. You have done more than most, the laps will come. See you tomorrow or Wednesday. You know your arms are going to hurt. You are welcome...

I had the same peace about me that I have when I run. My goal to swim 30 minutes straight with no chaser. 

Really, Dude, Really?

I cannot be the only one going through this while trying to date. I want my friends that think I should date what they consider age appropriate guys to really pay attention.

I recently met a guy a couple of years older than me and he asked for my number. I gave it to him and figured we would talk when he got ready. He called and I was at work, the first issue for me, and I didn't answer the phone. I checked the message later that day and decided I would call him on my drive home. We spoke briefly because he was busy. No problem for me, but he seemed annoyed that I called him back later rather than sooner....Dude, I was at work, i'on have time to talk to you at work...issue number two. Oh, by the way, I sent a text after I heard his message and explained I was in a meeting earlier, but I would call at my first opportunity. 

Well, we finally talked a couple of days later and it was the most bizarre conversation I have ever had...

He asked me if I was crazy because he had recently allowed someone crazy in his life. Now, y'all know me and I seriously thought 'What in all the eff is this dude talking about?' Cause if he allowed crazy in his life then...he is crazy.  Y'all also know that I will drop a dude in a minute...whether I'm married, dating you, just getting to know you or simply fu...never mind, you know what I mean. Instead I decided to humor him. 

This is his story...He was on a date with a woman at Pappadeuxs (he said that as if that would impress me) and after the date was over they were sitting in his car talking. (She met him at the restaurant) That seemed normal enough to me, but this is where I started to lose him. She was in his car and asked if she could take a nap because she was sleepy. Again, for me, this was a 'what in all the hell?' He said, "Yes." So, she took a nap. He finally woke her up and she said she was really tired and could she just go  to his house since he lived close by. He agreed because he is a 'gentleman'  -insert my best side eye. To make a long story short, the next morning he couldn't get her out of his house. He made up some story that he doesn't allow people in his home when he's not there, obviously she was really sleepy and needed some extra sleep, but I digress, they finally agreed she would leave. Well, as he is pulling out his driveway, he sees her car...waiting. He pretends to leave, but ends up watching her, watching his house. She finally leaves 45 minutes later, but this dude is posted up in his own damn neighborhood scared to go home or leave. Now, I'm thinking who lets someone come to their house that they don't know? I don't care if she was offering free platinum cooch. I am on the phone thinking, his ass will never speak to me again. However, my main thought was -- who the eff tells this story to a woman he just met, he's interested in dating and why? Oh, because HE IS CAT POOP CRAZY!!! 

Let me tell y'all something, 34 or 35 ain't never told me anything that crazy and that is why I gave 35 a call and asked him if he was busy this weekend. 

Smooches and Love Y'all!

My Open Letter to Paula Dean

Dear Paula Dean,

Your PR staff really botched your apology for your use of the n-word. Their advice that you back out of the interview with Matt Lauer and release those two, yes two, videos was PR 101-Damage Control at its worst. The videos were horrendous and because of the edits, you appeared insincere. As a seasoned PR vet, I am available to assist you as you attempt to rebuild your brand. However, it will not be easy and will take time and massive effort, but we are a society that is happy to forgive. 

I will be in Savannah in a few weeks, but that may be too late. My advice to you, get a crisis management PR specialist to handle your issue. Oh, and while I am in Savannah, I will probably drop by Lady and Sons for lunch or dinner because I recognize all those folks that work for you have families and probably need to keep their jobs. See, all of this is bigger than you and your empire and it has an economic impact outside of you and your family. 

As a side note, if you decide to take me up on my offer, my services will not come cheap, but I promise to do a better job than the team you are currently paying.

Respectfully,
Scheree Rawles

It’s FATHER’S Day, Let’s Celebrate THEM!

Let me go on and get this out of the way, some of you will not appreciate this post, others of you will, but we are going to celebrate Dads today!!

Today, I received a text message from someone, to remain nameless, that said, “Happy Father’s Day to the single mothers holding it down.”  I wanted to text back, “You are an effin (not my word of choice) idiot!!! However, I did not; I decided to write this blog instead. 

In my opinion, that text was one of the most disrespectful text a single mom could receive and participate in.  Yes, I am a single mother, but my parenting has always been co-parenting.  If I must say so myself, I am a great mom, but I am not nor will I ever be a DAD.  No matter how much love, guidance, time, and nurturing I give my children, I cannot replace their dad. 

Now, do not get me wrong, I recognize that there are times when I may want to discount/pay no attention to fathers that are not always there like I think they should be or not following through on what I deem to be their parental duties. (Notice the key word in that sentence is 'I'.)  However, it is not my role to disrespect or dishonor any father.  Therefore, I do not allow my children to disrespect or dishonor their father.  You will not fuss about him in front of me and you will not let just anything come out of your mouth about him.  I tell them that is your dad and you will respect him as such, or you will deal with me. 

Of course, there have been times when I have been angry, upset, and said some things that perhaps I should have left in my head rather than flowing out of my mouth.  Hey, I am human, if we were still married that would still happen, don’t play.  However, when I do, I gather my children and apologize for my temporary insanity.  I want my children to develop and form their own opinion of their dad, not one that is tainted by my emotions.  They love their dad and their dad loves them.

Therefore, on this beautiful Sunday morning, I sent a text to my children’s dad, “Hey!! Happy Father’s Day. Thanks for giving me 3 wonderful children!”  Despite how you feel about your child or children’s father, he still should be a part of their life/lives.  Perhaps some fathers would be better fathers if we stopped trying to lessen their role and showed some support on a day that is set aside for them. 

2012 -- What A Year for The TripletMomExtraordinaire!

Started the year with no job, ended up with a great job!  I want to thank the many friends and foes that helped and pushed me to not give up and know that God would provide for me.  Thanks to Dale for putting my resume out there and being a reporter/friend and putting his words into actions! A special shout out to my former supervisor at APD, Carlos, he didn’t hesitate to help when I needed it.  Thanks to Chief Turner and Chief Shields, they were in my corner the whole time.  Kim and Curtis, I love you both, you made it bearable and the transition to APD easy. Also, thanks to Sonji for seeing my potential and making it known to the City of Atlanta. My new family at DWM, I soooo love y'all.  Although, some of you claim I have my favorites, Kurlis, Glennis and Jessica (LOL--inside humor), you all are so talented and I am proud to be a part of YOUR team.

Found trouble because a referee acted an idiot with my son, even though I never said anything to the referee.  That was not a good look, but you live and learn that the bitterness and general unhappiness of an individual has the potential to change your life forever as you know it. 

Got divorced—again.  We will not have any more discussions on this subject.  Just know that I refuse to love another person that does not know or love themselves.  Nor will I try and save another soul, that ain’t my job. Remember it is SELF esteem.

Tried to date, don’t like it too much at this age…Men have more drama and are “in their feelings” far more than women.  If I can forgive and move on, so should you.  Do what I did, speak to a therapist to help you get through it and find the authentic you.   Don’t let another person dictate your happiness, love, life or space!!! Oh, and please grown men don’t send me anymore peen pictures…Thanks!!  I promise I won’t date you, I will just think you’re crazy as cat poop.

Witnessed my children graduate from high school and start new chapters in their lives. They have matured so much in the few months that they have been away.  Douglas, David and Danielle are my greatest joy and accomplishment. 

Passed my COMPS and headed towards Dr. Rawles.   This process has been an uphill battle as I tried to balance my time between school, work and the Triple Threat, but the confidence it has provided  me is unmeasurable.   

I ran in five 5K races…my time sucked in a couple, but I got my chunky ass out there and did it.  I committed to losing weight, because I need to be healthy for me and the Triple Threat. Plus, I am way too pretty to be this chunky…although, as Derrick says, “Ain’t nothing wrong with being a little thick in the waist, pretty in the face.” That always makes me giggle.

I have made new friends-Kurlis and reconnected with old friends-Jill.  Deborah has laughed and cried with me through this year and been constantly there for me.  My bestie Melissa has pushed me, pulled me and made me be better when I didn’t believe I could be better.  She made me see what I could not see in myself.  She was an effin truth-teller through it all…the good, the bad, the ugly.

I found forgiveness through some pain.  I found love through tremendous heartbreak.  I found happiness in ME.  God has shown me that through faith, love and grace that I can do all things.  I am looking forward to what He has planned for me in the New Year.

I wish you all the best and have a safe and blessed New Year.