No HNFT For You Or The Hubby.

Let me start this blog with this statement -- Yes, I have been married twice and divorced twice, so obviously there is some stuff I don’t know, but because of my experiences there is some stuff I do know!! Remember that and listen up!!!

Recently, I was having a conversation with a female friend that is married; I won’t call her a girlfriend right now because I am kind of salty with her about our conversation.  I can’t believe a girlfriend of mine would be this crazy.  During our conversation about work, kids and her husband, she said, “Well, I am not giving him any because I am mad at him about something.”  I was like, “What the eff did you say?” (Now, those of you that know me, know that I do have an extensive vocabulary, but I also like to curse, well, cuss—it excites me, so you also know that ‘eff’ was not what I said).  She, let’s just call her Jackie, had the nerve to repeat it. At this point, I lost it!! Hey, Jackie was calling for my advice and opinion, so I gave it ALL to her.

I asked Jackie, “Did Omar pay the mortgage this month?” Jackie said, “Yes, but, girl, he is tripping?” I stopped her and continued my line of questioning. “Did Omar pay your car note, your car insurance, his car note, his car insurance, the car insurance for that bad azz son of yours and that bad azz son of yours car insurance as well?”  Jackie of course said, “Yes, but…” I stopped her at the ‘but’ and continued my line of questioning. “Did Omar make sure he paid the electric bill, the gas bill, shoot, and all the bills in the house?”  I wanted to say that dude pays for everything, your money is your money, and you spend it on what you wish. Y’all ain’t splitting not one dang bill at that house, and you are quick to say what the heck you ain’t paying for because that is Omar’s job.  You are flying all over the world; your passport is stamped up.  That dude asks you about your day every day, he fixes you dinner, takes you out anywhere you want to go, does anything you ask and don’t ask….THAT DUDE LOVES the ground your stank azz walks on and you aren’t having HNFT, Happy Naked Fun Time, because you are mad because he forgot to pick up the laundry, which by the way, is something you normally do?

Now, before you rush to judge me and say I don’t know all that happens in their household, you are absolutely correct!!!  However, Jackie and I have been friends for years and SHE tells me how much Omar does for her, loves her, never raises his voice or argues with her, how respectful he is to her and her ratchet  family, how sweet he is to her, how he listens intently to whatever she says, how she knows he has her back, how he is submissive to the Lord, career focused, family oriented, a devoted and loving husband and dad, financially responsible, marriage minded and all that other good stuff…and she is going to hold out on the HNFT.

I decided to give Jackie the quick lesson of the single, twice divorced, wishing a man with those qualities would/had walked into my life, paying ALL the bills Mommy, but I figured that would take too long, so I simply gave her my quick and dirty advice… “You better give that man some Happy Naked Fun Time because that man is goooood to you, with your unappreciative, ungrateful, stank ass.  Oh, and you pick that damn laundry up!!!!”