Halle and the Double Standard!!

http://bigstory.ap.org/article/halle-berry-reaches-settlement-child-support

I am probably going to hear it from some of my girlfriends, but I have never been afraid of a little controversy or trouble. "Trouble is my middle name." Plus, this is my blog with my opinion.

I just have one question...If it were a man forced to pay the mother of his child for the type of lifestyle his child is accustomed to, would this be a problem, as well? I think not.

Halle was looking for a sperm donor, she got a man that wants to be a part of HIS child's life. We don't know what she said to him prior, during or after Nayla was born. However, to me it's clear she used him to have a baby and then wanted no parts of him and he wasn't having it.  She loved him before and then she didn't...her love does not diminish his love for his child.

We fuss and fuss and fuss about a man not being a part of his child's life and we fault a guy for "getting paid" like we encourage mothers to do. 

Yes, you may absolutely miss me with the slander of Gabriel. 

If You Run, You Are A Runner...If You Swim Are You A Swimmer?

Today, I swam!!! I did the breaststroke because that is what I am most comfortable with in the pool. I talked to the lifeguard~Devan~and requested that he not let me drown. He said he wouldn't and that he would watch me. I was grateful for his response. 😚😚

I swam up and down a total of eight times. I stopped when I got tired, because I am 5'9 and can stand in the pool. I caught my breath and kept moving. I talked to Devan and he gave great advice...Who are you racing? Take your time. You have a great stroke. You are rushing your breathing. Last lap, well you accomplished your goal. You have done more than most, the laps will come. See you tomorrow or Wednesday. You know your arms are going to hurt. You are welcome...

I had the same peace about me that I have when I run. My goal to swim 30 minutes straight with no chaser. 

Really, Dude, Really?

I cannot be the only one going through this while trying to date. I want my friends that think I should date what they consider age appropriate guys to really pay attention.

I recently met a guy a couple of years older than me and he asked for my number. I gave it to him and figured we would talk when he got ready. He called and I was at work, the first issue for me, and I didn't answer the phone. I checked the message later that day and decided I would call him on my drive home. We spoke briefly because he was busy. No problem for me, but he seemed annoyed that I called him back later rather than sooner....Dude, I was at work, i'on have time to talk to you at work...issue number two. Oh, by the way, I sent a text after I heard his message and explained I was in a meeting earlier, but I would call at my first opportunity. 

Well, we finally talked a couple of days later and it was the most bizarre conversation I have ever had...

He asked me if I was crazy because he had recently allowed someone crazy in his life. Now, y'all know me and I seriously thought 'What in all the eff is this dude talking about?' Cause if he allowed crazy in his life then...he is crazy.  Y'all also know that I will drop a dude in a minute...whether I'm married, dating you, just getting to know you or simply fu...never mind, you know what I mean. Instead I decided to humor him. 

This is his story...He was on a date with a woman at Pappadeuxs (he said that as if that would impress me) and after the date was over they were sitting in his car talking. (She met him at the restaurant) That seemed normal enough to me, but this is where I started to lose him. She was in his car and asked if she could take a nap because she was sleepy. Again, for me, this was a 'what in all the hell?' He said, "Yes." So, she took a nap. He finally woke her up and she said she was really tired and could she just go  to his house since he lived close by. He agreed because he is a 'gentleman'  -insert my best side eye. To make a long story short, the next morning he couldn't get her out of his house. He made up some story that he doesn't allow people in his home when he's not there, obviously she was really sleepy and needed some extra sleep, but I digress, they finally agreed she would leave. Well, as he is pulling out his driveway, he sees her car...waiting. He pretends to leave, but ends up watching her, watching his house. She finally leaves 45 minutes later, but this dude is posted up in his own damn neighborhood scared to go home or leave. Now, I'm thinking who lets someone come to their house that they don't know? I don't care if she was offering free platinum cooch. I am on the phone thinking, his ass will never speak to me again. However, my main thought was -- who the eff tells this story to a woman he just met, he's interested in dating and why? Oh, because HE IS CAT POOP CRAZY!!! 

Let me tell y'all something, 34 or 35 ain't never told me anything that crazy and that is why I gave 35 a call and asked him if he was busy this weekend. 

Smooches and Love Y'all!

My Open Letter to Paula Dean

Dear Paula Dean,

Your PR staff really botched your apology for your use of the n-word. Their advice that you back out of the interview with Matt Lauer and release those two, yes two, videos was PR 101-Damage Control at its worst. The videos were horrendous and because of the edits, you appeared insincere. As a seasoned PR vet, I am available to assist you as you attempt to rebuild your brand. However, it will not be easy and will take time and massive effort, but we are a society that is happy to forgive. 

I will be in Savannah in a few weeks, but that may be too late. My advice to you, get a crisis management PR specialist to handle your issue. Oh, and while I am in Savannah, I will probably drop by Lady and Sons for lunch or dinner because I recognize all those folks that work for you have families and probably need to keep their jobs. See, all of this is bigger than you and your empire and it has an economic impact outside of you and your family. 

As a side note, if you decide to take me up on my offer, my services will not come cheap, but I promise to do a better job than the team you are currently paying.

Respectfully,
Scheree Rawles

It’s FATHER’S Day, Let’s Celebrate THEM!

Let me go on and get this out of the way, some of you will not appreciate this post, others of you will, but we are going to celebrate Dads today!!

Today, I received a text message from someone, to remain nameless, that said, “Happy Father’s Day to the single mothers holding it down.”  I wanted to text back, “You are an effin (not my word of choice) idiot!!! However, I did not; I decided to write this blog instead. 

In my opinion, that text was one of the most disrespectful text a single mom could receive and participate in.  Yes, I am a single mother, but my parenting has always been co-parenting.  If I must say so myself, I am a great mom, but I am not nor will I ever be a DAD.  No matter how much love, guidance, time, and nurturing I give my children, I cannot replace their dad. 

Now, do not get me wrong, I recognize that there are times when I may want to discount/pay no attention to fathers that are not always there like I think they should be or not following through on what I deem to be their parental duties. (Notice the key word in that sentence is 'I'.)  However, it is not my role to disrespect or dishonor any father.  Therefore, I do not allow my children to disrespect or dishonor their father.  You will not fuss about him in front of me and you will not let just anything come out of your mouth about him.  I tell them that is your dad and you will respect him as such, or you will deal with me. 

Of course, there have been times when I have been angry, upset, and said some things that perhaps I should have left in my head rather than flowing out of my mouth.  Hey, I am human, if we were still married that would still happen, don’t play.  However, when I do, I gather my children and apologize for my temporary insanity.  I want my children to develop and form their own opinion of their dad, not one that is tainted by my emotions.  They love their dad and their dad loves them.

Therefore, on this beautiful Sunday morning, I sent a text to my children’s dad, “Hey!! Happy Father’s Day. Thanks for giving me 3 wonderful children!”  Despite how you feel about your child or children’s father, he still should be a part of their life/lives.  Perhaps some fathers would be better fathers if we stopped trying to lessen their role and showed some support on a day that is set aside for them. 

2012 -- What A Year for The TripletMomExtraordinaire!

Started the year with no job, ended up with a great job!  I want to thank the many friends and foes that helped and pushed me to not give up and know that God would provide for me.  Thanks to Dale for putting my resume out there and being a reporter/friend and putting his words into actions! A special shout out to my former supervisor at APD, Carlos, he didn’t hesitate to help when I needed it.  Thanks to Chief Turner and Chief Shields, they were in my corner the whole time.  Kim and Curtis, I love you both, you made it bearable and the transition to APD easy. Also, thanks to Sonji for seeing my potential and making it known to the City of Atlanta. My new family at DWM, I soooo love y'all.  Although, some of you claim I have my favorites, Kurlis, Glennis and Jessica (LOL--inside humor), you all are so talented and I am proud to be a part of YOUR team.

Found trouble because a referee acted an idiot with my son, even though I never said anything to the referee.  That was not a good look, but you live and learn that the bitterness and general unhappiness of an individual has the potential to change your life forever as you know it. 

Got divorced—again.  We will not have any more discussions on this subject.  Just know that I refuse to love another person that does not know or love themselves.  Nor will I try and save another soul, that ain’t my job. Remember it is SELF esteem.

Tried to date, don’t like it too much at this age…Men have more drama and are “in their feelings” far more than women.  If I can forgive and move on, so should you.  Do what I did, speak to a therapist to help you get through it and find the authentic you.   Don’t let another person dictate your happiness, love, life or space!!! Oh, and please grown men don’t send me anymore peen pictures…Thanks!!  I promise I won’t date you, I will just think you’re crazy as cat poop.

Witnessed my children graduate from high school and start new chapters in their lives. They have matured so much in the few months that they have been away.  Douglas, David and Danielle are my greatest joy and accomplishment. 

Passed my COMPS and headed towards Dr. Rawles.   This process has been an uphill battle as I tried to balance my time between school, work and the Triple Threat, but the confidence it has provided  me is unmeasurable.   

I ran in five 5K races…my time sucked in a couple, but I got my chunky ass out there and did it.  I committed to losing weight, because I need to be healthy for me and the Triple Threat. Plus, I am way too pretty to be this chunky…although, as Derrick says, “Ain’t nothing wrong with being a little thick in the waist, pretty in the face.” That always makes me giggle.

I have made new friends-Kurlis and reconnected with old friends-Jill.  Deborah has laughed and cried with me through this year and been constantly there for me.  My bestie Melissa has pushed me, pulled me and made me be better when I didn’t believe I could be better.  She made me see what I could not see in myself.  She was an effin truth-teller through it all…the good, the bad, the ugly.

I found forgiveness through some pain.  I found love through tremendous heartbreak.  I found happiness in ME.  God has shown me that through faith, love and grace that I can do all things.  I am looking forward to what He has planned for me in the New Year.

I wish you all the best and have a safe and blessed New Year.

The Hair Struggle Is Real

Whoo-Wee!!!  If someone had told me that going from a relaxer to natural hair would have been like this, I would have just said, “Yeah, never mind.”  This transition is definitely for the strong, not the weak.

From 1998 through 2001, my hair was short and natural and I loved it, but I also loved the creamy crack.  Since that time, I have tried this transition on two or three separate occasions, but each time the creamy crack has called me back.  This time I plan to hang in there and do what I must to be natural.  Now, I am the first to admit that my sister, Wendy, was the first to inspire me to make this transition.  If I mention this is too difficult, she tells me that she does not want to hear it and she keeps it moving.  My sister, Heather, is natural too, she does not say anything to me about it, but I can tell when she looks at my relaxed head she is thinking, “Ree, let that go.”  My cousin, Lisa, is all-natural, has been for a long time and she loves it.  My girlfriend, Deborah, is natural with an occasional kinky twists or braids, but her hair is natural.  The bestie, Melissa, has locs and they are downright beautiful.  Pamela is all-natural, but is struggling with the frizz factor.  Tunisia, Marsha, LaKisha, Kimmie, Edna and several of my other friends are natural.  Their hair is beautiful--whether flat-iron straight, natural curls, or loc'd,  and they absolutely love it.  Of course, my mini me, Danielle, is natural because her Mommy (that would be me) said, “You will not have that creamy crack in your hair because your hair is beautiful.”

However, Houston, we have a problem.  I am fighting with my hair about the correct hair products to use.  As I am in transition, I have natural and relaxed hair on my head.  I also have what one would call “Curly Hair 3-C” (Yep, there is a chart to rank your hair).  What this means is I have an S shape or sometimes a Z shape curl.  My hair type is full bodied, climate dependent (humidity = frizz, yes, Lawd), and damage prone.  I have so many different hair products and a mixture of those for African American and Caucasian hair, because of the texture of my hair.  Therefore, Ms. Jessie’s, Carol’s Daughter, Beautiful Textures, Mango and Lime, Garnier Fructis, Paul Mitchell, Paul Sebastian, just to name a few, have found their way in my bathroom. Trust me this is overwhelming. 

Additionally, I am wrestling with “is my hairstyle professional” as I make this transition.  I have found a new stylist, Brian, who is awesome, but I cannot get in the shop every week (my money is not that long and the Triple Threat are in college). I thought about micro-braids, but decided that I will do two strand flat twist then wear my hair out when I shampoo. I have received several compliments on this style, but if it is humid or rainy, my hair will frizz up and I look like a curly cotton ball (remember half natural, half relaxed on the head).  To make matters more complicated, I have to twist it EVERY night!!!  Umm, what is the purpose of having natural hair if you have to “fix it” EVERY night?  Therefore, many days the hair is in a ponytail, which is sooooo ridiculous.  Nope, I will not be doing the “Big Chop” no matter what people say…And, Pamela said I don’t have to if I don’t want to!!  Thanks, Pam the Glam.

Although, I am having my struggles, I can say that going natural is so liberating.  It is setting me free and allowing me to be me.  I have no regrets as I make this journey.  I am going natural and loving it.  My hair is natural and beautiful, this is who I am, this is whom God created, and I am going to flaunt it.